I have gone through a period of dramatic change this year. I ran the Two Oceans 21km, a feat I would never have imagined doing 2 years ago, I started Karate, took on a major project with an organization I hadn’t even heard of a few weeks prior to me starting the project and met an amazing man who I’m flying halfway around the world with next week. These are just a few of the extreme changes that have happened this year, and I can foresee many more happening very soon.
However, I think that the greatest changes that have defined this year are not those external one’s listed above, but the unbelievable way I have changed, and am continuing to change every day. I’m still learning from all these experiences, still growing as a woman, as an engineer and now as a partner in a relationship (more challenging for someone as independent as I than I realized!)
I find myself fighting harder against this inner change while accepting and even inviting the external one. But this doesn’t make sense, does it? If everything else is changing, why shouldn’t I? But as logical as I try to be and as much as I realize that I will have to become fluid in order to keep up with my life-on-overdrive, I find that I am resisting, fighting against myself. At this very moment in time, I am faced with a decision that will determine the course of my life and career!
Door #1 leads me to the man of my dreams and a new and exciting life on far-away shores. The catch is that this door is framed with uncertainty and risk. Door #2 leads me to the safe, planned and expected career where I’ll be comfortably set up from the word ‘go’ with a clear career-path with minimal effort on my part, but with little excitement and unpredictability for the next 4 years…I wish there was an easy answer to this one, but I’m afraid that there isn’t…
So I’m sitting in my freezing cold Cape Town apartment on a Saturday night and contemplating the value of our old friend “Change” who has been knocking at my door constantly. I know that one way or another, he’ll make it in. The question is, will I open the door, or will he find a way to bulldoze through it?